Dr. Kelsey Crowe is a professional empathizer: she knows exactly what to say and do when things go awful for someone she knows. In this first part of our two-episode special, Kelsey condenses the findings of a decade of research with hundreds of grieving people. Powerful, practical and – naturally – sympathetic – she describes the empathizer’s role in the social contract of grief.
The episode opens with a quote from C.S. Lewis, a favorite of Dr. Crowe.
“I see them as they approach, waiting to ask how I’m doing. I hate it when they do, and I hate it when they don’t.”
When bad things happen to us, we often hesitate to ask for help. When they happen to others, we’re not sure how to offer our support. In this podcast episode our focus is on those who want to offer help but aren’t sure how.
Starting with a belief in using empathy as a jumping off point, Kelsey talks about the rules for supporting each other that she’s developed through both her research and her personal experience. Learning to turn your empathy into action is a big part of being effective in helping someone in need, by keeping in mind that each of us has something unique to offer. At Flower we call these abilities superpowers — those characteristics that allow us to support each other in myriad ways.
Listen to Kelsey’s story, and her thoughts on how to connect to your friends and family when they need it most.
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Kelsey Crowe, PhD is the founder of Help Each Other Out and is co-author of There Is No Good Card for This (HarperOne, 2017). She has her PhD from the University of California, Berkeley and teaches social work California State University. She hopes for a day when no one has to suffer a personal trial alone because the people around them just didn’t know what to do or say.
The Resilient is a podcast about powerful people, like you and me. It’s an eavesdrop session on their toughest times, and what they’ve done since then. It’s about life transitions, difficult decisions and unexpected twists and turns. Because life happens. It’s brought to you by FlowerApp.com and is produced and presented by Dr Aleks Krotoski and Pillowfort Productions. It is mixed by Katie McMurran.